Struggling to write

For the last few days I’ve been wrestling with song writing. My writing seems to ebb and flow and there are no predictors as to when something will inspire me or when I am able to hammer out a line or two. Some songs come quickly and others seem to remain a constant work in progress.

But that isn’t what I’m struggling with. It’s this overwhelming sense that I simply must create. All of my sensors are exposed and on overload. So many experiences, colors, words and events speak to me and I find deeper life truths that must be explored lyrically and musically.

But I can’t. Every time I sit down to ‘explore’, melodies and streams of thought seem to evaporate into thin air. It’s like I’m being haunted by the Ghost of Music Future but I can’t seem to make him materialize.

This is so frustrating.

It leaves me questioning everything. What is blocking me? Do I have too much going on or not enough?

Music is creativity. Creativity is fueled by believing.

Is there something more to wrestle with other than the fact that I’m having writers block even though the desire to create is immensely strong.

What is it I don’t believe?

Perhaps the urge to write and create from the experiences that are inspiring me is more of a call to explore. My own lack of faith is being summoned to the surface and placed on the table. Is song writing the vehicle to bring this forward?

I’m beginning to wonder if song writing is more of a spiritual discipline than it is a craft.

In the Psalms David writes, “Sing a new song”. New songs require new insight, new experiences, new words and thoughts…new findings from my exploration of life, God and me.

Melodies and words beckon me today and I’m struggling to make sense of it.